


Safe

by Morgana_avalon



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18397364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: : Summer has arrived at Imladris and it is time to celebrate love and creation. The Lord of Imladris is expected to set the example and to choose a date for that feast. (Set after Celebrían has left for the Undying Lands, so Elrond is 'single' again.)





	Safe

Safe

 

"Will you do this for me, Erestor?" Elrond gave his friend and Chief Advisor a pleading look. "You are the only one I can ask. I feel safe with you."

 

Hearing the damning words made Erestor's heart contract painfully. /Safe, he feels *safe* with me!/ Elrond was expecting an answer to his question and Erestor forced himself to nod. "I will be your escort tomorrow night." The world came crashing in on him once he accepted his doom.

 

"Please excuse me, Elrond. I still need to make some last-minute arrangements for the celebration tomorrow and I also need to check if Celeborn's quarters are satisfactory." His departure from Elrond's study was nothing short of flight and Erestor stumbled into the corridor. He quickly closed the door behind him and then rested his back against the wall in an effort to calm his sped-up breathing.

 

/Elrond asked me to be his escort for the feast because he feels *safe* with me./ He was incredibly close to crying. After all the centuries of unconditional trust and devotion he had shown the half-Elf, all Elrond felt in turn was 'safe' with him. Erestor angrily banged his fist into the wall and immediately regretted the action when his knuckles began to throb painfully.

 

/It is back to business as normal, Erestor. Accept that!/ he told himself. /Stop moping about something that will never happen. Elrond does not return your feelings and you know it!/ Erestor dragged himself down the corridor and headed for the Hall of Fire, which would be the center of the feast the next day. 

 

Erestor felt defeated and listless. For so many centuries he had hoped that Elrond would one day return his feelings, but that had never happened. His love had been ill-fated from the start and he should have crushed the attraction when he had first noticed it.

 

But he hadn't. His feelings for Elrond had begun to deepen after the Lady Celebrían had been abducted. She had been unable to bear her husband's touch after the attack and Erestor had become Elrond's confidante. The half-Elf had spent more and more time in his company and Erestor had felt even more attracted to the Lord of Imladris. He had kept his distance though, knowing only too well how much Elrond loved his wife. The half-Elf would never be unfaithful to her and Erestor had continued to keep his distance long after she had sailed for the Undying Lands.

 

The friendship between Elrond and him had deepened, but Erestor had never told the half-Elf of the love that was blossoming in his heart. They had become as close as brothers and that had been his downfall. Elrond trusted him unconditionally, cared deeply for him, but like someone would care for a brother – and not as a lover. For a long time, Erestor had fooled himself in believing that he stood a chance to win Elrond's love, but the truth had finally hit home: Elrond simply didn't see him as a potential mate. /I have been a fool. Elrond is wed to Celebrían and he will remain faithful to her, even though she sailed for Aman decades ago./

 

Erestor had worked himself into a foul mood by the time he entered the Hall of Fire. A great number of Elves was already readying the Hall for the upcoming feast. Several servants walked up to him, in need of his advice and he told them how the Lord of Imladris envisioned the Hall to look like. Once they received their directions they left him alone and Erestor returned to his brooding.

 

~~~

 

Glorfindel found Erestor sitting listlessly in a corner of the Hall. Normally the energetic Advisor would be busy directing the servants, but instead of being so, Erestor was sitting to the side, appearing rather distant and upset. Concerned about his friend's well-being, Glorfindel walked up to him and pulled up a chair. Sitting down opposite Erestor, Glorfindel tried to capture the dark eyes with his own inquisitive gaze. "Erestor?" He spoke his friend's name insistently when it became clear that Erestor was bent on ignoring him. His friend should know him better than that though – ignoring him wouldn't make him go away.

 

Erestor released a deep sigh. "What do you want, Glorfindel?" They had quickly become friends after the warrior had arrived at Imladris and often confided in each other, but this was one time when Erestor preferred to be left alone.

 

"Why are you so gloomy? What has happened? Did the cook ruin the pies? Did Lindir lose his voice? Did the twins decide to dress in pink for the feast tomorrow?"

 

Erestor couldn't help himself and chuckled softly. "Nay, none of that has come to pass… And I do hope they will not dress in pink – the color just does not suit them."

 

"What is the matter then?" Glorfindel shifted his chair closer to where Erestor was sitting and gave the Advisor a hopeful smile. "You know I can keep secrets. I will tell no one."

 

Glorfindel had always liked Erestor. Erestor was one of the few Elves whose exquisite appearance matched the beauty of his inner light. For Erestor was a vision – a lovely dream draped in dark colors. The long, raven hair reached below Erestor's waist and since the Advisor always wore it loose, it danced against the curve of his elegant back. The dark eyes, always alert and wise, possessed a sensual expression, especially whenever the pupils dilated. The alabaster skin looked delicate and as fragile as the petal of a flower, but Glorfindel would never make the mistake of underestimating Erestor. After all, he had seen Erestor wield his sword on more than one occasion and he *knew* that a well-trained body lay hidden beneath the shapeless, dark robes.

 

"It is nothing like that." Erestor stared at his hands, unable to meet Glorfindel's inquiring gaze.

 

"Does it have something to do with the feast tomorrow? Erestor, you *know* that I will not leave until you have told me what has upset you." Glorfindel reached out and clasped his hands around Erestor's, which felt surprisingly clammy. Erestor was more upset than his friend wanted him to know. "What is this about? I do not know you this…depressed," he said after a moment's thought of how to describe his friend's mood best.

 

Aye, Erestor knew Glorfindel well enough to know that the warrior wouldn't leave him alone until the Elda had learned what had upset him. /I can tell him part of it…but not everything./

 

"Erestor?" Glorfindel placed a finger beneath Erestor's chin and lifted the handsome face so the dark eyes had to make contact with his blue ones.

 

"Have you already found your date for tomorrow evening? Did someone ask you to be their lover?" Erestor watched Glorfindel's expression closely, but the look the warrior gave him was open and hid nothing.

 

"Aye, a few Elves have asked me, but I have declined all offers so far."

 

"Why?"

 

Glorfindel wondered if this was Erestor's way of stalling, but in the end, he indulged his friend. Maybe this was Erestor's way of easing into telling him about his problems. "Because I need to feel attracted to this Elf and so far, there has been no one to touch my heart in that way."

 

The upcoming night they would celebrate love and the act of creation and the Elves that lay together on that night would be free to go their own way when the morning came. For one night, all bonded Elves were released from their bonds and all the bachelors were free to take a lover for one night – no ties – no obligations. And yet, Glorfindel wanted this to be about love. "You are a romantic," Erestor commented and gave Glorfindel a smug smile.

 

"And so are you! What is new?" Glorfindel returned Erestor's smug smile. "So, tell me. What has upset you? Did someone ask you and you accepted though you now wish you had not?"

 

Erestor drew in a deep breath, tilted his head, and moved away from Glorfindel's fingers. Letting his head droop, he returned to staring at his hands, but only to find them tightly clasped by the warrior's large ones. "Elrond asked me."

 

Glorfindel's eyes widened with surprise. He had always suspected that Erestor was in love with their Lord, but had never voiced that suspicion aloud. "And this displeases you? Why?"

 

"Like you, I confess to being a romantic, Glorfindel. I would have preferred to spend tomorrow evening with someone who loves me." Erestor shrugged his shoulders and continued quickly so Glorfindel didn't have a chance to speak first. "I understand his reasoning, Glorfindel. He will always remain bound to Celebrían and he will not be unfaithful to her. By asking me he is playing it 'safe'. He knows that nothing intimate will happen that night. We will probably work on his correspondence instead."

 

Glorfindel was finally beginning to understand. "And you regret that. You want for something intimate to take place between the two of you." He bit his bottom lip in an effort to prevent himself from continuing. He had wanted to ask 'And for how long have you been in love with Elrond?' but he didn't, knowing where to draw the line where his meddling was concerned.

 

Erestor continued to avoid Glorfindel's gaze and pulled his hands from their cradle. They dropped into his lap and he shrugged again. "He feels *safe* with me, Glorfindel."

 

Glorfindel nodded his head once. "I am sorry."

 

"What for?" Realizing he had revealed too much, Erestor glared at him. "At least I *have* a date for tomorrow night!"

 

"Oh, Erestor, that was uncalled for!" But Glorfindel understood why Erestor had lashed out at him. He had come too close to opening a painful wound.

 

"I am sorry," Erestor apologized. "You are right – that was uncalled for." Erestor pushed himself to his feet. He had to leave the Hall right away, afraid that he would crumble and continue to confide in Glorfindel. He couldn't take that risk. The affairs of his heart had to remain his and he didn't want to burden the warrior with his heartache. "I still need to check if Celeborn thinks his quarters are satisfactory. Please excuse me now." 

 

Glorfindel let him go, but his heart continued to ache for his friend.

 

~~~

 

"Elrond? May I enter so we can speak?" Glorfindel had thought long and hard on if he should intervene or not. He had sat in the Hall of Fire for many hours and had been contemplating Erestor's words. The sadness and defeat that had echoed in Erestor's voice had eventually convinced him that he had to do something. He owed it to his friends to talk to Elrond.

 

"Aye, you may enter. Give me one moment, Glorfindel. I need to finish this, but then we will talk. Sit down." Elrond was busy putting the finishing touches to a letter which would leave for Mirkwood that evening. In it, Elrond expressed his regrets that Thranduil and Legolas couldn't join them for the festivities that year and voiced his hope that they would do so the following year. He put the quill down, let candle wax drip onto the parchment, and sealed it. "I am all yours now, Glorfindel." Elrond leaned back in his chair and smiled at his friend. But his smile faded as he saw the troubled expression in the normally so carefree blue eyes.

 

"I want to speak to you about the festivities which will take place tomorrow." Glorfindel's fingers wandered over the wood of Elrond's desk and he tapped his fingernails against it, producing a rather annoying sound. Seeing Elrond raise an eyebrow in a disapproving manner, he stilled his fingers. "Erestor told me you asked him to be your escort tomorrow night."

 

"That is correct. I asked him because we are such good friends and spending the evening together would be quite harmless. Why? Did you hope I would ask you?" Elrond studied his friend and wondered why Glorfindel was bringing this up. He hadn't asked anyone for the last two centuries, ever since his wife had left for the Undying lands. He had wanted – and still wanted – to be faithful to her.

 

"Nay, that is not why I am here." Glorfindel shifted on the chair and leaned in closer to Elrond. "Erestor and you have been good friends for a long time, have you not?"

 

Elrond nodded. "I do not know if I could have coped with my wife's departure without his support. Erestor was always there for me. He still is." Elrond began to realize that Glorfindel's visit had everything to do with Erestor, but what?

 

Glorfindel drew in a deep breath. He had no idea how Elrond would react to the news he was about to deliver. "Elrond, has it ever occurred to you that Erestor has developed feelings for you that go deeper than just friendship?" There, he had said it. There was no going back. Elrond's eyes widened in a comical way and Glorfindel gave his friend an apologetic look. "I knew of no other way to tell you, but I thought you deserved to know."

 

Elrond gasped for breath. Glorfindel's words had stunned him. "Did you say…? Did you really say…?" He was trying hard to understand what his friend had just told him. "Did you say that Erestor feels more than friendship toward me?"

 

Glorfindel nodded his head once. "I will pay for telling you. I know I will. Erestor will make me pay, but I do not care anymore. For decades I have seen him yearn for a simple touch, a show of affection coming from you, and he was crushed when you told him what the real reason for asking him to be your escort was. Elrond, you said you felt safe with him. What does that mean? Unlike Erestor, I want to know the details."

 

Elrond blinked and tried to compose himself. Erestor was his best friend, his Advisor, and his confidante. Erestor had become very dear to him and he couldn't envision his life without Erestor at his side, but never once had he suspected that Erestor might have romantic feelings for him. "For decades, you say?" Glorfindel's words only now truly registered with Elrond.

 

"It started after your wife sailed for Aman, Elrond. You leaned heavily on Erestor for a long time and during that time Erestor fell in love with you." Glorfindel gave Elrond a look filled with sympathy. "You had no idea he had feelings for you." For one as wise as Elrond, the half-Elf could be remarkable blind at times. "Did you never wonder about his unwavering support?"

 

Elrond drew in a deep breath. "Are you absolutely certain that this is the truth? Does Erestor really…?"

 

"Love you?" Glorfindel finished Elrond's question for him. "I am certain of it."

 

"How?" Elrond probed Glorfindel's eyes. "How can you be so certain?"

 

"Erestor told me."

 

Glorfindel's words left Elrond speechless. It took him several minutes to find his voice again and when he spoke, his voice trembled. "Erestor told you."

 

"I talked to him in the Hall of Fire earlier today… Right after you asked him to be your escort. I always suspected that he had deeper feelings for you than just friendship, but I could never be quite sure. I thought he would be happy to be your escort, but then he told me that nothing intimate would happen. That he expected you to work on your correspondence. I asked him if he wanted it to be more… And he said yes."

 

Elrond's thoughts raced. He had never thought of Erestor as a potential lover. He had always loved his wife, but Celebrían had sailed and had left him behind...alone. Her departure hadn't changed his opinion that he should remain faithful though. It had never crossed his mind that there could be someone else in his life who loved him in that way.

 

Glorfindel smiled ruefully at the perplexed-looking half-Elf. "You will not make me regret the fact that I confided in you, will you?"

 

Elrond forced himself to react to Glorfindel's question. "I will not betray your trust. I will never reveal to Erestor that you told me this."

 

Now that his work there was done, Glorfindel rose from his chair. "How you will handle his feelings is up to you, of course, but I advice you give this matter some thought before dismissing them. Erestor is extremely loyal to you, Elrond. Throughout all these years he has given you unconditional support. Be gentle with him."

 

"You did the right thing by telling me, Glorfindel." Elrond finally shook himself from the shock and rose from his chair to walk Glorfindel to the doorway. "I will be gentle."

 

Glorfindel placed his hand on the door handle, but didn't push it down yet. Looking at Elrond from over his shoulder, he added some last advice. "If I was in your place, and Erestor was in love with me, I would give him his chance, Elrond. He deserves it."

 

But Elrond gave Glorfindel a thoughtful look and didn't reply at once. After sorting out his thoughts on the matter, he answered, "I know he deserves the best, Glorfindel. But this is not about what Erestor deserves. It is about what I can give him."

 

Glorfindel understood. "You have to let go of Celebrían some time, Elrond. She let go of you when she sailed. It has been more than two hundred years since she left. Do you not think you mourned enough? Do you not think it is time to give love another chance?"

 

"I do not know, Glorfindel… That is exactly what I need to find out." Elrond waited for Glorfindel to step into the corridor and then closed the door behind his friend. He rested his back against it and drew in a deep, steadying breath. The last thing he wanted to do was to confront his feelings for Celebrían, let alone Erestor, but Glorfindel had made it clear that he had to.

 

~~~

 

That evening, restlessness drove Glorfindel to visit Erestor's rooms. The Advisor's rooms were located next to his and yet this was the first time since he had come to Imladris that he would enter them – that was, if Erestor replied and let him in.

 

"Erestor? It is me, Glorfindel." He had been ready to retire for the night and only wore his evening robe, but instead of slipping between the covers, he had stepped into the corridor instead. He looked to his right where Elrond's rooms were located. Not a single sound radiated from them.

 

"Glorfindel? What is amiss?" Erestor opened the door and looked in surprise at the golden-haired warrior. "Why are you here?" Like Glorfindel, he had been preparing to go to bed, but since he had felt depressed, he had wandered out onto his balcony instead to stare at the midnight sky.

 

Glorfindel shuffled his feet and bowed his head. "I could not sleep and hoped you would not mind the company."

 

Erestor didn't fully understand Glorfindel's intentions at first, but then it dawned on him that the warrior was requesting entrance to his rooms and, more so, wanted his company that evening. That in itself was not something new. They had often spent evenings in each other's company, but Glorfindel had never come to his rooms before. Why now?

 

"Can I come inside? Or do you want me to return to my rooms?" Glorfindel grew nervous as Erestor continued to not invite him in.

 

Erestor took a step aside and replied, "You are welcome here, Glorfindel." He didn't know why they had never visited in each other's rooms. Most of the time, they had gone to the Hall of Fire instead.

 

Glorfindel entered and cast curious looks about. "I like it here." Erestor's rooms were like the Advisor, dark, but warm and inviting. Dark reds, browns, and blues were the colors that ruled the rooms, and they made them look cozy. A few scented candles provided them with light and a pleasant fragrant. The door which gave way to the balcony was open and Glorfindel smiled as he looked at the star-lit sky. There was no moon that night and the stars sparkled even brighter. Feeling drawn outside, Glorfindel stepped onto the balcony and Erestor promptly followed him. Some fluffy pillows had been piled against the balustrade and Glorfindel could just imagine Erestor nestled there. "It is an enchanting night."

 

"Glorfindel, normally I would enjoy your company, but I am not in the mood for it tonight." Erestor pulled his midnight-blue robes close to his frame and brushed a few unruly strands out of his face.

 

Glorfindel turned around and gave Erestor a sad smile. "The truth is that our conversation keeps haunting me."

 

"Our conversation?" Erestor raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yes, about Elrond, your love for him, and the festival tomorrow evening." Glorfindel leaned against the balustrade, curled his fingers around the metal, and threw back his head so he could truly enjoy the magical sight the stars presented. "You should tell him."

 

Erestor stepped up to Glorfindel and gave him a truly shocked look. "I can never do that!"

 

"And why is that? Do you fear being rejected?" Glorfindel wondered how any Elf in their right mind could reject this lovely, dark-haired beauty with such haunting, large eyes and long eyelashes.

 

"Glorfindel, I do not want to endanger our friendship. Elrond trusts me. He confides in me. I know that will change once he finds out that I have feelings for him. I cannot take that risk. Do you not understand how afraid I am that I will have nothing should I tell him? I rather have his friendship than nothing it all."

 

"You are protecting yourself." Glorfindel understood about protection and self-defense mechanisms since he was guilty of using them himself at times. "But you owe Elrond the truth. You need to give Elrond a choice."

 

"Glorfindel, listen to me." Erestor wanted to be clear to his friend once and for all and rested his hands on the warrior's shoulders. "Elrond never stopped loving his wife and I respect that. That is the main reason why I will never tell him. He cannot love me because he still loves her."

 

Glorfindel bowed his head and shrugged his shoulders. Erestor's hands moved along with the motion. "You will not know until you tell him."

 

"I will never tell him," Erestor stated, stressing each word. "Now stop talking about this or I will ask you to leave."

 

Glorfindel felt defeated. He wasn't making any progress with Erestor. His friend was determined to keep quiet. That meant he had to put all his hope in Elrond instead.

 

TBC

 

Safe

Part 2

 

One thing that Glorfindel and Erestor had forgotten about during their talk on the balcony was that Elrond's suite was situated right above his Advisor's. And since Elrond had been looking out over his beloved Imladris at that moment, he had overheard every word his friends had exchanged.

 

Hearing Erestor's reasoning as to why he was keeping quiet, Elrond began to feel guilty. Aye, it was true that he had clung to his love for Celebrían, but within the last year he had begun to feel like he might be able to let go. It was the main reason why he *had* decided to ask Erestor to be his companion to the feast. But never, not even in his wildest dreams, had he suspected that Erestor was in love with him. That complicated everything!

 

The voices coming from the balcony below his faded and it appeared the two Elves had gone back inside. That left Elrond all alone with his thoughts.

 

/By Elbereth, what do I do? I do not want to hurt Erestor. He has been my best friend for so long and I owe him so much!/ Maybe the best thing to do was to examine his feelings closely.

 

~~~

 

Erestor blinked, unable to hide his surprise. "Elrond said what?"

 

Melpomaen gave Erestor a grin. "He said that he would not come to the office today. He declared today a day free from work and wanted to prepare himself mentally for attending this evening's celebrations. And if I may so bold, Erestor, you should follow his example. There is no correspondence that cannot wait for a few days. Elrond finished writing all the important letters last night."

 

This was most unexpected and highly circumspect. Why in Elbereth's name would Elrond forsake his duties?

 

Melpomaen, who thought of Erestor as a good friend, walked over to the elder Elf and smiled at him. "Go to the baths and relax. Take some rest afterwards and then dress for tonight."

 

"Dress?" Erestor frowned. "I was planning on wearing this." There was no reason for him to dress up. After all, that night was just a farce.

 

"That?" Melpomaen looked highly appalled at the grey, unadorned robes Erestor was wearing. "You plan on wearing that to the summer festival?"

 

"Melpomaen, leave the matter be. It is not important!"

 

"I beg to differ, Erestor. Lord Elrond himself asked you to be his escort and you should look your best tonight!"

 

"How do you know he asked me?" Erestor eyed the other Advisor suspiciously.

 

"I did not until you confirmed it for me by asking me that question," Melpomaen replied in a smug voice. "You *do* have suitable robes for tonight, Erestor?"

 

"Define suitable, Melpomaen." And why exactly was he still carrying on this insane conversation?

 

"Something light… Something that belongs with sun, summer, flowers, warmth…" Melpomaen shook his head. "Well, do you?"

 

"I might have, but I am wearing these robes tonight." Erestor firmly shook his head. Why should he make the effort to look his best?

 

"Is there an argument going on I can participate in? I feel rather quarrelsome today." Glorfindel leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was still wearing his uniform and knew he smelled of sweat after working out, but the stink would disappear once he had visited the baths to indulge in a long soak.

 

"No argument!" Erestor was quick to deny they were having a discussion. "Be on your way, Glorfindel."

 

But Glorfindel had seen Melpomaen's expression and it told him the young Advisor needed his support in this matter. If only he knew what matter!

 

"I was just pointing out to Erestor that he cannot possibly wear these robes to the feast this evening," Melpomaen commented before Erestor could leave the room.

 

Erestor had already reached the doorway when Melpomaen's words echoed through the room. He cringed, knowing that Glorfindel wouldn't let him go without more 'argumentation'.

 

"Melpomaen is absolutely right. You cannot wear that." Glorfindel extended his right foot and blocked Erestor's escape route. "Now let me think… Maybe something in greens and blues would do? I am not quite certain reds look flattering on you."

 

Erestor seethed and was quickly losing his patience with them. "Let me pass, Glorfindel. I have work to do."

 

"I do not think so." Glorfindel resolutely grabbed Erestor by the middle and pulled him into the corridor. "No work for you today. We will first visit the baths and then I will go through your wardrobe. If you have nothing suitable to wear for tonight, we will raid the twins' closet."

 

Erestor paled. "Glorfindel, do not do this."

 

"Too late. We are already on our way to the baths."

 

~~~

 

That evening, Erestor felt extremely self-conscious and wanted nothing more than to hide in his rooms, but Glorfindel was resolutely dragging him down the corridor. "I cannot believe I let you do this!" Truth be told, Erestor hadn't had much of a choice. First, Glorfindel had made him soak in a tube filled with rose petals and had then insisted he rub some lovely scented oil into his skin. Then, the warrior had dragged him back to his rooms where the blond Elf had examined his wardrobe.

 

And Erestor had felt damned when Glorfindel had found that one robe tucked away deep in the back of his closet and had smoothed the fabric with his hands.

 

"This is it," Glorfindel had declared. "I cannot believe you never wore it before."

 

'It' being robes made of the finest silk and satin one could find on Arda. Its basic color was sea-green and it had been lined with a light-blue material. The sleeves were long and elegantly formed and Glorfindel had eagerly nodded his head. "Aye, this will look good on you."

 

Glorfindel had proceeded to pester him into slipping into them. In the end, Erestor had given in, since he had wanted to stop Glorfindel from harassing him further, but it hadn't stopped there. Oh no, the next thing Glorfindel had done was to attend to his hair.

 

Glorfindel had braided his hair away from his face, but had let the hair in the back sway loose. Eventually, Glorfindel had complimented himself with his handiwork, and hadn't paid any attention at all to Erestor's temper tantrum, which had come out at long last.

 

And now they were on their way to the Hall of Fire, where most of the festivities would take place.

 

"Glorfindel, slow down!" Erestor was forced to practically run since he couldn't keep up with Glorfindel's pace.

 

Glorfindel grinned impishly and complied. He slowed down, but didn't release Erestor's hand from his hold. Erestor had fought him every step of the way and Glorfindel still thought his friend capable of trying to escape the moment he realized his chance.

 

Since he had spent most of his time attending to Erestor and making him look his best, Glorfindel had neglected his own looks a bit. The robe he had on was beautiful and shone in gold, oranges, and reds, but his hair was a bit of a mess. It always took him a long time to best his mane and, this time around, he had lacked the time to do so.

 

"Will you stop fighting me, Erestor? You will attend the feast, so why are you trying to escape from me?"

 

"Because I look ridiculous and it is your fault when they laugh at me!" Sounding and looking petulant, Erestor tried to slow down his racing heart beat. "Glorfindel, do not make me do this!"

 

They had reached the doorway and the sounds coming from inside the Hall told them that the festivities had already begun. Glorfindel came to a stop, turned around to face Erestor, and said, "Erestor, try to enjoy tonight." The sad expression that shone from Erestor's eyes made Glorfindel feel depressed in turn. "You never know what will happen tonight," he added in the hope to lift his friend's spirits.

 

"I know what will happen, Glorfindel. Elrond will act politely all evening and when the time comes to retire, we will work on the reports, letters, and all the other paperwork that has been neglected today."

 

Glorfindel shook his head, but didn't contradict Erestor verbally. There was only one person who knew how tonight would end and that was Elrond.

 

~~~

 

Elrond felt nervous. He had spent most of the night and day examining his feelings. Confronting his feelings toward his wife had been hard and allowing himself to feel something toward Erestor had been even harder. But the moment he had given himself permission to feel again, he had realized the truth.

 

The truth was that he did have feelings for Erestor. They had just been buried beneath a mountain of self-hatred, survivor's guilt, and his conviction that he no longer deserved to be happy because he had failed his wife. Had he done away with those negative feelings like Glorfindel had suggested, he would have realized the truth much sooner.

 

Erestor had been the best friend he could have hoped for. Erestor had seen him at his worst and weakest, had supported and comforted him, and had never asked for something in return. If that wasn't unconditional love, then Elrond didn't know what was. All Erestor had done the last few centuries had been to give. Erestor had given him support, love, and a reason to continue on after Celebrían had sailed West. Until recently though, Elrond had refused to see his friend for the real treasure he was. He had to thank Glorfindel for making him do this.

 

As a result, he had made some important decisions and the first one had been to look his best that night. He had uncovered robes which he hadn't worn in a long time. They possessed warm colors and the brown, burgundy, and red gave him a warmer and more approachable appearance. He wore his hair loose that night. No braids, no circlet, no hairclip adorned it. Nothing. He wanted Erestor to see him for who he was and not as the ruler of Imladris.

 

Elrond had already seated himself at the main table and was now impatiently waiting for Glorfindel and, foremost, Erestor to join him. He didn't know yet what he was going to say to Erestor or how to approach him with his advances, but he was determined to make his interest known that night.

 

Elrond glanced over at the doorway, hoping Erestor would appear at last, and a warm smile spread across his face as he saw Glorfindel practically drag a resisting Erestor into the hall. It didn't take him long to realize that Glorfindel had had a hand in making Erestor look so stunning. He had never seen Erestor wear anything but blacks, blues, and grays and seeing Erestor in something lighter and less depressing made him smile. He rose from his chair and extended his hand, gesturing for them to approach.

 

Erestor felt stricken as he saw Elrond raise his hand in invitation. The half-Elf looked attractive that night and Erestor's heart missed a beat when he saw that there was a much warmer expression in the grey eyes.

 

"Your place is at my side," Elrond stated, addressing Erestor now that his friends had finally made their way over to the main table.

 

Glorfindel finally released Erestor's hand from his hold and seated himself in his usual place. Amused, he watched how Erestor shyly placed his hand in Elrond's. He eyed Elrond closely and saw the changes in the grey eyes. The conversation he had had with Elrond yesterday must have made the half-Elf think and it appeared Elrond had reached a decision in Erestor's favor.

 

"Come, sit down." Elrond guided Erestor to his chair, although it wasn't really necessary. But he enjoyed having Erestor's hand resting in his and, because of the close contact they were in, he felt the minute tremors that moved through the limb. Erestor was nervous – much more than he was.

 

Erestor was relieved when he was finally sitting down. He had felt too many eyes pierce his back and kept his gaze lowered so he was forced to stare at his hands. But it didn't matter. He needed time to compose himself again and to crush the feelings rising inside him.

 

Elrond seated himself and watched Erestor closely. How was it possible that he had never realized the truth before? "Erestor?" Speaking the Chief Advisor's name had the desired effect and Erestor's gaze finally met his. Oh, the love in them shone so brightly and he had been blind for much too long. "I hope you will do me the honor of dancing with me tonight?"

 

"Dance? With you?" Erestor blinked in surprise. Elrond's question had taken him aback. "I am not a very good dancer, Elrond."

 

"I will forgive you should you step on my toes," Elrond replied in an attempt to lighten his friend's heavy mood.

 

All Erestor could do was stare at Elrond, who was smiling fondly at him. What was happening here? Where was the real Elrond?

 

From where he was sitting, Glorfindel smiled and raised his glass. /I wish you all the happiness on Arda, my friends./ He had the feeling he would see Erestor stunned a few more times before the evening was over.

 

~~~

 

Erestor did his best not to tread on Elrond's toes, but was doing a poor job of it. Something was different about Elrond that night. Something very profound, but he couldn't exactly label it. The only thing he knew was that Elrond's expression was warm and tender and the last time it had been like that was before Celebrían had been attacked and the couple had been happily in love. By the Valar, was that it? Had Elrond finally stopped mourning the loss of his wife and had he fallen in love? But not with him. Erestor was quite certain of that. He wondered who had captured the Elf-Lord's heart and thinking about it distracted him even more.

 

"Ouch." The sound escaped Elrond's lips unwillingly, but Erestor had just put his whole weight on his big right toe.

 

"I am sorry," Erestor quickly apologized. "Maybe this is a bad idea. I warned you that I am not any good at dancing."

 

"You would be better at it if you concentrated a bit more, Erestor. What has you distracted to such a degree that you no longer know where you are putting your feet?" Elrond took pity on Erestor and stopped dancing, but instead of guiding him back to the main table as Erestor had expected, the half-Elf steered Erestor outside -- into the gardens. "What is on your mind?" he asked once they were out of hearing range. "You can trust me with your worries, Erestor, you should know that."

 

A certain quality to Elrond's voice set off Erestor's alarms and he came to a sudden stop. Raising his gaze, he searched the grey eyes, which were inviting and curious. Those were two emotions which Erestor hadn't seen in them for a very long time. "It is nothing to concern yourself with." He walked away from Elrond and placed his hands against the trunk of an ash tree. He always loved walking in these gardens. He loved being close to nature and feel its soothing presence.

 

Elrond coughed in order to clear his throat. This was it. This was the moment he had been waiting for. They were alone and finally had their privacy. "Erestor, last night when I was standing on my balcony, I overheard your conversation with Glorfindel." Elrond expected a fierce reaction on Erestor's part and his Chief Advisor didn't disappoint him. Erestor spun around and those large, scared eyes immediately bore into his.

 

"You heard? Oh, I should have been more careful! Damn Glorfindel for coming to my rooms." Erestor edged carefully away from Elrond, increasing the distance between them.

 

Elrond saw the rising panic in the dark eyes and remained where he was. Erestor needed the distance between them as long as his friend didn't know what to expect. "Why did you not tell me that you care for me in that way?"

 

"If you overheard that conversation you know why." Erestor cursed the fact that Glorfindel had braided his hair away from his face because now he couldn't hide behind it and he needed to hide!

 

"I have been rather unapproachable. I realized that and am now trying to make up for it."

 

*That* was what had struck him as so different! Elrond's tender expression, the warm colors of his robes, the loose hair – it all showed a more approachable Elrond. "Why?"

 

Elrond took a step closer to Erestor and felt encouraged when his friend didn't back away from him. "I have been clinging to the memories of the love my wife and I shared and, until last night, I did not realize that they were just that: memories." Elrond took another step and another and finally stood in front of Erestor. He would be able to touch his friend if he raised his arm, but he didn't try to yet. Erestor still looked spooked. "And then, last night when you talked about your feelings for me, I realized that I had been cutting myself off from real affection for a long time."

 

Erestor's nerves fluttered and he batted his eyelashes at Elrond in a vaguely hopeful way. "I never wanted you to find out that I love you in that way."

 

"You never wanted me to find out – period!" Elrond shook his head and then gifted Erestor with a tender smile. "Since last night, I see the love in your eyes when you look at me. I have been blind."

 

Erestor blushed and coughed. "Elrond, you do not have to say these things when you do not mean them."

 

Ah, more drastic measures were needed it seemed. Elrond raised his arms and folded them around Erestor's waist. A look filled with shock, surprise, but also hope made Elrond act very carefully. He didn't want to do anything that would hurt Erestor's feelings. "Melpomaen told me that you were stunned to find my study empty this afternoon, but I had something much more important to do than work on my correspondence. Do you want to know what that was?"

 

Erestor's mouth had gone dry with Elrond being so close and holding him, so all he managed was a nod.

 

"I searched my feelings where you were concerned and I was amazed at what I found." Elrond had rehearsed this speech all day and hoped he had gotten it all right. "I do feel safe with you, but in a different way than you think, Erestor. I feel safe with you because you know me so well, love me so well."

 

Erestor swallowed hard and continued to stare entranced into Elrond's eyes. So far, they had discussed his feelings for Elrond, but he still didn't know yet if Elrond fully returned those feelings.

 

"And I feel so safe with you because I trust you unconditionally. It took me a while to realize this, but my feelings changed during these last few years. I buried them though, since I did not want to be unfaithful to Celebrían. But when I forced myself to examine my feelings, I realized I was committing a crime against you, which was much worse. I was condemning you to a life without love." Erestor opened his mouth to speak, but Elrond quickly shook his head and the words Erestor had intended to speak never left his lips. "The truth is that I love you as well, Erestor. I was just too much of a coward to admit that to myself."

 

Erestor stared at Elrond and didn't know what to say.

 

"I know this comes as a surprise. It surprised me too. But, Erestor, I want to continue to feel safe with you, but for a different reason."

 

Erestor finally understood. "You could have given some indication that you liked me in that way!"

 

"I did not know I did until last night." Elrond brought his arms up along Erestor's back and pressed them close. Embracing Erestor tightly, Elrond rested his brow against his future lover's. "Can you forgive me for being dense, blind, and rather repressed?"

 

"You are forgiven," Erestor answered, feeling much too overwhelmed and overjoyed to remain cross with Elrond.

 

"Can I kiss you now? I have wanted to kiss you ever since you entered the Hall. You look stunning tonight."

 

"That is Glorfindel's doing," Erestor explained as he blushed. "He insisted I look my best."

 

Elrond pressed a kiss onto Erestor's brow, hoping he would receive permission to kiss the other Elf's lips in a moment. "You always look your best, even in those dark colors you seem so fond of."

 

"You have permission to kiss me." Erestor had wanted this for so long and when Elrond's lips gently claimed his, a moan formed deep in his throat. His toes curled, his world spun, and he clung desperately to Elrond for support.

 

"Do I also have permission to court you?" Elrond reluctantly released Erestor's lips, but he had to do so in order to ask his question.

 

Erestor's heart was beating much too fast and he was quickly growing light-headed. "You do not have to ask, Elrond." Elrond should have known already that he had long gained Erestor’s permission to court him.

 

Elrond grinned. He was pleased with himself and with the way everything had turned out. He had finally realized why he felt so safe with Erestor and that sense of trust and love was at the very base of their new relationship. Yes, he felt safe with Erestor and he wanted to continue to feel safe for the rest of his long, immortal life.

 

The end…


End file.
